So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
