Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize