he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i now understand why vodka
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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