Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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