and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize