? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
