Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
