I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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