belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
