is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize