He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just tell him i said nine months
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
