I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
