So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
