...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
