I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
