you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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