also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
