The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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