I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
