I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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