how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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