I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
