She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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