If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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