it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
