remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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