I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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