So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
