I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
