mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
