How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
