is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it was like eating out sand paper
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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