I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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