Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
