I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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