I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
