Dual....:-)
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize