girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
