I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
