Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
