My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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