if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
