oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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