they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize