shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
