that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize