So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Couch. On fire.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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