Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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