let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
