I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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