Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
