I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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