"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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