Yo dont text me then not text me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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