We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize