yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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