tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
