I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
