We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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