basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize