He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i've created a new STD.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
