She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
