nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize