can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
