she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
