Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
