Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
