just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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