You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
