Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i barfeds in our rink
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
