i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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