Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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