do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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