Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize